Parents Role in Supporting a Child Struggling With an Addiction & Not Enabling
If you are a parent with a kid addicted to drugs you are not alone. With more than 22 million substance abusers out there, there are twice as many parents who are also struggling. Parents often go from denial, to sadness, fear and disappointment. Generally many are left with no options as to what to do.
Many of them wonder what action to take, if any, and are not sure what the difference is between helping and supporting their child and enabling them.
There are certain indicators that a parent can be aware of that indicate that their child could be using drugs. These include:
• Changes in eating and sleeping patterns.
• Change in physical appearance like weight loss or weight gain.
• Attitude changes; he or she could appear short tempered or be doing good one minute and bad the next. Or experiencing depression, withdrawal or fits where they are upset or are angry or full of rage.
• Others telling you that your child is using drugs.
• Knowing your kid has tried or experimented with drugs or alcohol.
• Change of friends and/or interests. Or spending time with other people that use drugs or engage in alcohol abuse.
• Needing money for reasons that don’t seem to make sense. Or needing a large amount of money.
• Noticing that your child appears drugged, or drunk. Some indications of this may be slurred speech, smelling like alcohol, dilated pupils, red or bloodshot eyes, acting lethargic, laying around and not getting anything done, nervousness, paranoia, or sleepiness.
• Promoting social drug use or arguing against drug prevention or drug-free groups.
• Legal Difficulties
• Dishonesty
• Missing prescriptions or alcohol in the home, or empty bottles or drug paraphernalia found.
• Medical Problems
When your child has one or more of these indicators there is a good chance they are using drugs. Parents, in an effort to help will start to enable the child. Enabling is when a parent makes it possible for their child to continue to use drugs. Some examples of enabling include:
• Making excuses for the drug users behavior. This could include anything from covering the person when they miss important appointments, to giving reasons why they are acting the way that they are, to stating that using drugs is “normal,” that “everyone experiments,” or that the use is a phase.
• Cleaning up problems or messes that the person creates because of drug use.
• Giving the addicted person money to buy drugs
• Taking the person to buy their drugs
• Giving the individual a place to stay or live allowing them to continue to get high
• Not bringing up the drug use or offering any solution to help them
Enabling can give the individual a message that the drug use is okay or supported by the rest of the family. Most individuals who are using drugs or alcohol will try to get others to enable them or help them to continue to use.
The Solution
There is a way to love and help your child to get treatment without enabling them.
• When they say they need money, ask them what they need it for. It is best to purchase what the individual needs outright. For example if the addicted person says they want food, don’t give them money for food but purchase the food for them.
• If they say they need a ride to a house that you suspect is the dealer’s house, refuse to take them.
• Tell them if they are going to get high they can’t stay at your house.
• If they leave because they are mad, then come back high, tell them they can come back when they aren’t high or they can go to a treatment.
• Don’t make excuses for their behavior but urge them to get help for it.
• Use tough love or whatever means necessary to make sure they get into a treatment center.
Allowing a drug user to go without help is as good as slowly helping to do the person in. The truth is that addiction can be fully handled if someone is able to get into a substance abuse program.
For more information on the Narconon program call 800-468-6933.
